I factored in an extra week to tie up loose ends and say good bye to everyone. That might have been a strategic error. I failed to comprehend how incredibly hard saying good-bye would be. I'm sort of wishing now that we had just packed the car, left a note, and snuck away in the middle of the night.
I don't know what I was thinking - I should have known better. Years ago when TSA decided to forbid accompanying your loved one to the departure gate I was hugely relieved because I hate farewells. Even as an observer I found it painful. I would change seats to avoid being in the vicinity of teary, clingy people saying goodbye.
The euphoria of selling the house has worn off and we're looking at each other. "What in the world have we done?" Overnight, adventure has morphed into reckless and crazy.
Someone has to keep the faith. In this case it's our friend John who was especially devastated by our plans to relocate to NC. It's a measure of his attachment to us that he's now the one doing the comforting... "It will be ok, you made the right decision, it's going to work out."
We've lived here 24 years. For the last 17 years my youngest brother has lived nearby. He moved here because I live here. I was 14 when he was born. The day he was born I was one of the first people to hold him. He belongs to me in a way I don't think he understands.
I've been blessed with amazing friends. Exceptional people that have provided not only friendship, but support, help, encouragement, inspiration, understanding and love. People I feel a deep emotional connection to. I'm much older now, with a keener sense of mortality. Relationships that I appreciated at one time are now invaluable to me.
Today however, my gratitude is overwhelmed by sorrow.
It's a loss that refuses to be assuaged by promises of email, Skype, iPhones or airline tickets.
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