Dispelling the Darkness

It starts getting dark at 5:00. Not long after that it's pitch black and darkness lands with a thud. I find the darkness omnipresent. It weighs on me. I spend these long nights waiting for the light to return. Electricity means I have light at my fingertips. Think how hard this was when fire was your only resource. 

The Spiritual Darkness Antidote

My friend invited me to the Lantern Walk at the NC Museum of Art. Everyone gathers with handmade lanterns as the sun goes down. Sunlight will be back in another 14 hours or so, but in the meantime a crowd collects to begin the (battery-powered) Lantern Walk, a trek of about 1 1/2 miles in the dark in a loop around the museum grounds. 

It was magical. Hundreds of people, all ages, all carrying lanterns, some of them very elaborate. That 1 1/2 mile loop gradually filled from beginning to end with small bobbing lights. A few people were wearing hooded capes, adding to the Medieval vibe of humans gathering to meet the darkness. Coming together as a community with our individual lanterns lent meaning and warmth to the event.

Some amazing creativity was on display, we saw a huge lantern fashioned to look like a giant red rose. Another three-tier one created a snowman, and there were all kinds of painted and decoupaged lanterns. There were several that started out of plain paper globes but became jellyfish with the addition of streamers and strings of lights. A few people did fancy lighted hats in lieu of a lantern. Be the lantern... that looked like fun. 

Art and Emotion

The largest lantern was a giant sailing ship, captained by a very sociable man that wanted to make sure we understood that his wife created this lantern, not him. He was very clear on that point. I appreciated his keen awareness of the rules of marital harmony. 

Without a doubt the most creative lantern was brought by a woman standing near us. She introduced her lantern as her mother. It was a wire dressmaker's form lit from within and topped with a little tiara and perched on a walker. It was covered with ephemera representing her mother: bits of her jewelry, items from her kitchen and her interests, personal knickknacks, and an empty bottle of Wild Turkey. I felt like I had truly met her mother. Our new friend wasn't sad. She was positive and upbeat; a woman with a story and a display that honored her mother and poignantly illustrated her loss. It was a very emotional work of art. 

To add to the theme of connections this woman and her friend had a spontaneous happy reunion with two other women they met at last year's Lantern Walk. 

The Gift

And there you have it -- meeting darkness with light this season. A gentle spotlight on what's true and precious, created by hundreds of fragile paper lanterns all marching in the same direction with light and intention. This simple wonder was restorative. I found a sense of peace that had been missing this holiday season.

Food for Thought

Hubbs and I joined a supper club of 8 friends. The host and hostess set the menu direction with their entrée choice and the other 3 couples show up with accompanying dishes and wine. Spreading the cooking burden out like this works perfectly. Nobody loses their mind slinging hash.

The group made a firm resolution to keep it at 8 people for a couple reasons... 8 is about as many people as our homes can comfortably accommodate, we all know each other so there's a built-in compatibility, and... very important... we felt 8 was the maximum number of people that could be contained in a single conversation at the table without breaking into multiple chats.

Some of the most interesting things I've ever heard have been relaxing with friends at the dinner table and the new supper club did not disappoint. To start us off we used Table Topics conversation starter cards. We've discussed experiences, beliefs, disappointments, fantasies, politics, lessons learned, and those are just a handful of the cards. This weekend someone drew a God card. It was fascinating to hear how 7 other people perceive God. This led us into discussing life and death, the spiritual, the existence of souls and other dimensions. It was getting late, but it looked like a seance might be a possibility.

My own belief system is quite convoluted, I find it hard to explain in a lucid manner. But today I was startled to read this elegant and deceptively simple explanation in LUCY BY THE SEA: A NOVEL by Elizabeth Strout. I haven't finished the book yet, but it's a good one, I highly recommend it.

* * * * * * * * * * the following is from the book:

“Well, my feelings about God have shifted over the years, and all I can say is: There’s more than meets the eye.” I added, “I’m just pretty sure there’s more than meets the eye.” 

Bob was watching me. He had lit a cigarette and was just holding it in front of him. “What I think,” he said, “is what was written on a huge sheet of paper that was tacked onto the bulletin board in the Congregational church we sometimes went to when I was a kid. GOD IS LOVE. That was written in block letters on this bulletin board in the downstairs reception room. And it’s so funny that I would remember it, but I guess I always have.” He inhaled, squinting against the smoke.”

"Well, that's a good thing to remember," I said. "It's true." After a moment I said "You know, I read a book a few years ago, and some character in said something like, It's our duty to bear the burden of the mystery with as much grace as we can."

Bob nodded. "That's pretty good."

* * * * * * * * * *

A Hygge (or Covid) Christmas

 

I needed a Covid Christmas gift solution... how to perk up my peeps that were just as tired of isolating and staying home as me? What to do? What to do?

HYGGE!

    (pronounced hoo-ga, or hue-gah, I guess it depends on the authenticity of your Danish accent?)

Hygge is a Danish word that encompasses a feeling of cozy contentment and well-being through relaxation and enjoying the simple things in life… seeking contentment.

International surveys consistently rank Denmark as one of the happiest countries in the world in spite of being a pretty boring country with some of the highest taxes and longest, most miserable winter weather ever. Danes cite some compelling reasons for their happiness – social equality, tuition free access to a high-quality education, free health care, a relative lack of crime and corruption, work-life balance, trust in humanity (other Danes at least), AND just plain old hygge. A key part of the Danish culture is their national obsession with all things cozy.

A Hygge blueprint…*

Candles and a warm drink are vital to the Hygge experience….

Start by slowing down. Make time to indulge yourself. Get cozy. Light something… a fire, a candle, or plug in your new stars. Turn on some music, find a good book. Make yourself some hot chocolate and spike it with Peppermint Schnapps or Kahlua. Treat yourself to a slice of cake. Everything is better with cake. Savor the present.

To fully immerse yourself in Hygge, wrap yourself in a blanket, sip your warm drink and watch a Danish police procedural about a serial killer because the Danish claim that scary stuff, if it’s fictional, can increase your hygge, as can a raging storm outside, actual scary stuff, like the news, is not advised.

Watch THE KILLING– 3 seasons, that will keep you occupied. Or THE BRIDGE– 4 seasons of murder and crime. Being safe under your blanket will send your cozy ratio (hygge) way up.

Here’s hoping you find satisfaction in the simple.

* My Hygge kits included (starting top left, moving clockwise) 

- A Hygge manual, I'm not fooling around, you need to embrace this concept. We're probably going to be doing a little more Covid jail time.

- Starlights.... Christmas + Hygge = perfection.

- A Scandinavian Gnome, to set the scene. If a cat lives in your household you got an extra Gnome, a cat one. I probably should have sent everyone a cat one, they're pretty entertaining.

- A card game to wake everyone up and incite a small riot. For the appropriate household.

- Firestarters! IF you happen to have a wood-burning fireplace.

- Shower steamers. Treat yourself to the luxury of a mood boosting or relaxing shower. Such a great idea, but my shipment did not arrive on time. Therefore I will be boosting my own mood.

- Pumpkin bread. And cranberry bread. Homemade. I know, I'm a saint.

- A coffee warmer. I hate cold coffee. I also hate interrupting my reveries to go warm it up. If you're not a morning person you need lots of support in the a.m.

- Hot chocolate... oh yaaas! It's Christmas. This is grocery store stuff, but I did exhaustive research and it (specifically the dark chocolate) really is superior to the boutique-y brands.

- Reindeer antlers. Because they crack me up. A Halloween slant at Christmas.

Collards Conversion

When we moved to NC I was introduced to collards. But we never clicked, collards and me. 

I tried; I bought a huge bunch of the most beautiful fresh leafy greens at the farmer's market and went home with a set of very specific and (as it turned out), optimistic instructions from a farmer's wife. But they were disgusting, somehow it failed to translate. 

But they're healthy. And verrrry popular here. So I tried them again, in restaurants this time. 

Ditto. It's just not working.

Healthy as they might be, they were not destined to appear on my table.

That changed this week. My friend Joyce invited 8 of us to her home to share her family's collards recipe. Collards would be the star of her meal. I really like these ladies so in spite of my acute collards disappointment in the past, I was pleased to attend. 

Joyce served wine, and cheese and crackers and we sat around in a circle in her living room and she told us all about her family. Starting with their collards recipe and how it has evolved over the years, from one cook to another. She described the garden that always included collards. She told us about her parents, especially her Mom and her siblings. She showed us some of her family photos while she did this. Joyce is very loving and that shines through when she talks about her family. As she’s doing this, it’s creating a sense of their presence. It was remarkable. Somehow, using her gentle stories and memories, Joyce summoned them and created a sacred space.

Other people began to reminisce, especially about their mothers, favorite dishes, family gatherings, various good memories, people we loved that are no longer here. It was quite touching. Julie got a bit teary telling us that she keeps a jar of mixed herbs in her cupboard that is decades old, but it belonged to her mother so she can’t bear to discard it. So there it sits, among its modern counterparts that come and go, reminding Julie of her mother every time she sees it.

The atmosphere that was generated and all those nice warm feelings transferred over to the dinner table and we had an exceptionally good night, with lots of laughter. Anita gave a hand waving impression of her first mother-in-law, the Italian Momma Leoni trying to teach the hapless young bride proper gnocchi rolling technique. Anita and gnocchi may have failed to click, but she mastered the accent and we couldn't stop laughing at her portrayal of sloppy gnocchi and intense mutual distress.

Joyce's meal was SO GOOD. It was like a really special holiday meal, Southern style…. the very best of Southern cuisine. Her starter was spinach balls. I could have made a meal out of just those. They were so delicious. Then she served cornbread – the best I’ve ever had, the famous collards – so good, in a class by themselves, I could not believe how good they were, I had given collards a bad rap. I discovered I actually love collards. We also enjoyed pork tenderloin with homemade chutney that was amazing, mashed rutabaga and roasted potatoes. She made it look so easy. No hustle. No bustle. I watched our hostess smoothly gliding around her kitchen... this meal a gift to her friends.

AND homemade banana pudding. I can’t even describe how tasty that was…. it was light and fluffy, oozing vanilla and bananas. Heavenly would not be too strong a word. It makes me sigh just thinking about it.

The evening was a perfect merger of food and friends wrapped in love and affection. One of those textbook alignments that rarely happen, like an eclipse. Proving once again that some of the very best benedictions happen at the dinner table.

I Survived...

I screamed bloody murder this morning. In fact I heard myself screaming and the voice in my head said “Who IS that??!” And then I heard the answer, “OMG - that’s YOU!”

It’s hard having two voices in your head sometimes.

I’m surprised no one heard me. Obviously no one did, because no one bothered to call 911 to rescue the hysterical woman in my house.

I picked up an article of clothing that was lying on the tub to put it on and something moved! Which made me jump. Which made the biggest centipede I’ve ever seen in my life fall on the floor. That’s when the screaming started, when the monster hit the tile floor…. running like the wind. I could not rein in the screaming, it was so shocking and so upsetting. It was so huge I thought it might have been a baby snake. It was about 4” long. And FAST… all those legs. I stood there screaming as the grandfather centipede streaked out the door into the bedroom.

Turns out carpet slows you down if you have 100s of legs. Which is fortunate, because it favors the hunter.

"I need to kill that monster before it gets under the bed and manages to disappear… because if that happens, the house is his."

I think it was a hitchhiker. I don’t know how in the world it happens, but things are constantly coming into this house riding on Hubbs. It seems like every time he goes outside something revolting accompanies him inside. It's quite tiresome. It irks me that I have to worry about this. No one should be living in here except me. And him. I let him live here too.

My rational self tried to have a talk with my distraught self. "It's only tiny, how can it hurt you? Your reaction is way too extreme..."

"No, no it's not. It makes absolute perfect sense."

And then I wondered... this fear and repulsion... is it learned or evolutionary? Would my cavewoman ancestor have shrieked until she was hoarse? Would she have threatened to divorce her mate if he brought one more such creature into the cave? No, probably not. She most likely would have picked it up and ate it.

The Hard Sell

The 2 cutest little girl scouts EVER rang my doorbell last Sunday; selling cookies.

I looked around - where are their parents?? Then I saw a big black SUV with opaque windows parked out on the street. Apparently the Secret Service was chauffeuring them around.

Sales Support
Allow me to interject here for a minute what a disservice the organization is doing sending the girls out to sell cookies during January which everyone knows is diet resolution month. Seriously Girl Scouts! What are you thinking? At least wait until February when most of us have well and truly abandoned our resolutions. Give your miniature sales force a fighting chance.

The Pitch
Solemn Sophie was the older one, a beautiful little girl with long shiny, white-blonde hair struggling with a huge basket of assorted cookies, and a serious aversion to door-to-door selling. However, her wingman Mellie was having the time of her life manning the big cash envelope. Although they were sisters, they looked nothing alike, Mellie had long strawberry blonde ringlets and an estatic smile that said "I am having a huge adventure!"

Solemn Sophie took a deep breath, "would you like to buy some cookies?"

"Sure, which ones do you think are the best?"

She pointed to the Thin Mints, "everyone really likes these, but I think the S'mores are better. They're new this year."

"Ok then, S'mores it is," and I gave Mellie the joyful banker a $5 bill. She crammed it into her envelope and beamed at me.

Solemn Sophie said "thank you," and they marched back down the sidewalk.

Passing the Mom Audit
Two minutes later they're back. Now they are both solemn. Formerly perky Mellie looks downcast. She holds up a dollar bill, "my mom says we owe you a dollar." The tiny banker is super apologetic.

"Oh.
I see.
Do you girls know what a tip is?"
They shake their heads no. Solemn Sophie now looks positively mournful, she didn't know there was going to be a test and she's not prepared. "Well... a tip is when you get a little bit extra because you both did such a great job. And the S'mores were a brilliant recommendation. So I would like you to keep that dollar." Mellie's smile returns, bigger than before and Sophie looks relieved, maybe even a little pleased.

I watch as they run back to the Mom-Mobile. Mellie breaks into a skip.

I Got Off Easy...
I would have bought a timeshare from these two.

We Hold These Truths to be Self-Evident

As an American, you are morally obligated to give red, white and blue food your best shot on July 4th. Takes a little planning and ingenuity... My Gemini Twin (a real person, just so you know) and I have a conversation. 

* * * * * * * * * * * *
TG:
Eden asked me to bring salad... SALAD! How am I going to make a red, white and blue SALAD that doesn't involve completely despicable Jello with produce in it? Bummer, somebody else got the coveted dessert assignment.

Sooo sad...
Look how much fun I could have had...

TAB:
You should always get the dessert!
(Note: it doesn't matter how unreasonable my expectations are – TAB always supports them.)

Any ideas for a patriotic appetizer? Actually, I haven't stopped thinking about bacon pineapple bites!

TG:
My moaning is mostly an act… self-entertainment on a rainy day

Yeah… you have to do the bacon pineapple bites. I should come over and watch you do the bacon pineapple, you have cracked the bacon pineapple construction code. Seriously… 3 ingredients and I screwed it up, that’s some kind of record.

You have to have watermelon on July 4th. Maybe I can do some kind of watermelon salad? Look at this salad… it got good reviews, but I think I’ll try it first before I inflict something this wacky on everyone. It’s either delicious or abominable.

It could be delicious… maybe?

TAB:
Potato SALAD!

TG:

That’s some attractive red, white and blue food isn’t it?!
But… Eden is doing potato salad, AND she gave dessert to her friend…her OTHER friend…

TAB:
LoL!
Could you eat these?

TG:
I guess when it comes right down to it, I’m just not that patriotic. Please bring the delicious but not especially patriotic bacon pineapple bites.

TAB:
The watermelon salad sounds good! And weirdly, just last night I accidentally discovered that watermelon and cilantro taste good together! Unbeknownst to me, I had a piece of cilantro stuck in my teeth. Then I ate watermelon, and it decided to co-mingle. A nice surprise taste.

LoL!

TG:

Wacky watermelon salad it is.

Let's Misbehave

My Gemini twin and I always celebrate our birthdays together since they are 1 day apart. We spend countless hours of discussion planning it, starting in January usually. 

The planning is as much fun as the actual event; especially this year. We decided to have a 1920s murder mystery dinner, so I ordered a kit online. It was a pretty good outline, but once I saw it, I realized I could totally gin this thing up and make it even more fun.

And we're off!
We identified our 8 characters and the week before the party I gave everyone their character profile and the story script. Let's just say I rounded out those character profiles a bit. I have fun-loving friends... they all latched on to their characters immediately. In the days before the party they began acting on the storyline and contacting each other as their characters, mostly with innuendo and thinly veiled threats. You know, like real mobsters might make. The bad girl character shouted at 1 (of her 2) love interests as he was out for a walk one evening with his wife "Sam! Sam! What are you doing with her?!"

Tonight's it's the Grand Gatsby
It was a surreal feeling seeing armed mobsters and molls with feather boas coming down my driveway on a Saturday night. Everyone arrived in character and stayed in character the entire night. They had been instructed... tonight we're gonna misbehave... it's ok to lie, deceive, cheat and steal each other's phony money. And not just at the roulette wheel. Bribery and back-stabbing allowed.

The game was played by handing out 3 rounds of "clues," information that was supposed to be dropped among the other players. Round 1 was cocktails with the clues establishing the character relationships. During Round 2 and dinner, the clues served to escalate the various conflicts. At the end of Round 2 and dinner, one of the players was notified via his clue that he was the murder victim. He was instructed to look for his murder victim kit in the bathroom – a bloody knife headband and white face paint... because he's a ghost now, so of course he has to look the part. He took it to another level by moaning and Frankenstein walking.

After his shocking (and pretty hilarious) re-appearance at dinner, Round 3 begins... the accusation phase, somewhat dominated by the indignant murder victim who's now participating as a ghost. And interrupted by a phony gun shootout, due to an egregious betrayal between one of the bosses and his enforcer.

And at the end... prizes! Best costume, best performer, best sleuth. And there was a prize for the most money accumulated by the end of the evening. One of the mobsters made sure he won it by bringing his own million dollar bill... that's totally misbehaving.

The Visitor

It's been challenging lately.

Last year in August / September Hubbs spent 7 weeks in the UK when his elderly mother needed help. Then we both went back for 6 weeks in October / November. Our goal was to find a living arrangement for her with the support she needs at age 92.

Then I spent over 3 weeks in January / February with my mother, arranging a move from AZ to NC. I sustained an injury at that time that still hasn't completely healed. When she moved in February I was completely leveled by bronchitis and in bed. Hubbs had to be the daughter that weekend. He did well.

This was followed by a whirlwind of doctor appointments for my mother interspersed with an extended neuro-opthomology encounter for me with a diagnosis of "an anomaly." Which I'm not arguing with, it suits me much better than brain tumor.

Then we spent more than 3 weeks in April / May in Tucson working to get my mother's house ready for sale. We didn't quite finish because Hubbs needed to fly to the UK to take care of his mother. He's there now, hopefully no more than 3 weeks. We'll have to go back to Tucson later and finish what we started.

 We're tired. This mother marathon is exhausting. And frequently worrisome.

This morning I was sitting at my desk, which faces the window overlooking the back yard. I was surprised to see a brilliant little bluebird fly right up to the window and flutter there, repeatedly bumping the window. Then he landed on the ledge and stayed there, looking in at me. More fluttering, more bumping, landing and looking. He repeated this about 3-4 times. It was VERY unusual. He flew off and landed nearby on the deck railing and then back again to my window.

I'm glad I have a photo because it was a bit surreal. One of those things that you say to yourself, "Did that just happen?"

My Gemini twin reminded me that bluebirds are quite symbolic, widely accepted in history and many cultures as harbingers of happiness. Extracting from this website:

"Bluebirds remind us that things will get brighter, just hold on and get through this day. Bluebirds are symbols of the heavenly realm and when Bluebird appears for you... it may be a physical incarnation of an angel. 

The bluebird is a messenger of the Divine and flies side by side with the angels. Bluebirds are often pictured with angels in paintings."

Ok then. Whether I accept that or not, it still felt lucky. And honestly? Kind of mysterious.

My Gemini twin calls these things that get our attention in a way that can't be ignored "Uni-Winks," – winks from the Universe.

PowerBall Priorities

It's still on! Do you believe it? Hubbs and I talked about buying a ticket all week. But then Saturday night rolled around and we got all comfortable in front of the TV.

But that's good, because now I have time to plan for the upcoming one.

Priority #1
Transportation
Oh happy day! All the pain of getting from point A to point B is going away. An incredibly pleasant, charming on-call chauffeur and limousine. A private jet with incredibly pleasant, charming on-call pilot. A full bar and upscale snacks.

Yes. Yes! YES!

And my own traffic control person, because I really do dislike traffic. This is my fantasy, anything is possible.

Priority #2
An Insulator
A fierce, steely-eyed, single-minded, take-no-prisoners kind of person to navigate the petty details of life. Skilled in the art of inflicting suffering upon bunglers and the deliberately unproductive. I need a certain specialized skill set. I'm not above recruiting from the Mafia for this position. Just saying...

Time Warner... they're coming for you. Blue Cross... you're next. Be afraid.

If you make my person stay on hold more than 5 minutes, prepare to be very, very sorry. And God help you if the answer to my reasonable request is "no."

Priority #3
A Cleaning Crew
I love my neighborhood. It's beautiful. And quiet and peaceful... about 98% of the time. Most of my neighbors are lovely people. But there are a few exceptions. There are a couple unsatisfactory ones, who had really bad parenting apparently, and failed to grasp the fundamentals of civilized living.

My crew will swoop in and buy them off and relocate them to a more suitable location designed for people who misbehave. They will be happy to go... because my crew are amazing salespeople.

Harmony restored. And a vacant lot cleared for priority #4.

Priority #4
Event Planners
I love fun events with well planned details, full of fun surprises. I have a ton of ideas but lack sufficient energy and execution skills. I'm going to outsource this to some young, exuberant and creative party planners. Imagine what my budget can do!

First up... a giant outdoor party for adults with the most ridiculous games ever – think slip and slide, dodge ball, lawn twister, Pictionary, a relay race wearing swim fins, I think we'll catapult something... just not each other. We'll fuel this with a gourmet picnic and a massive cocktail bar. We'll wind it up with fireworks, viewed from chaise lounges with blankets and pillows.

If you want to be included, better let me know before I win.

The Rest of It...
I think I'll just give it away, once these things are taken care of, I'll have everything I want.

Hello 2016

I love champagne. It's one of the best parts of the whole holiday season... lots of reasons for  champagne. And fancy champagne cocktails – even better!

I just discovered the FRENCH 75 champagne cocktail. What a wonderful confluence of ingredients, because I also love gin and tonic. Who would think gin and champagne would compliment each other?

So good. Hubb's review? "Mmm yeah, definitely trouble..."

Here's a recipe for 2 servings... because you don't want to drink alone do you?

FRENCH 75 CHAMPAGNE COCKTAIL
2 oz. gin (I much prefer Tangueray)
2 oz. sparkling wine
1 oz. fresh lemon juice
1 oz. simple syrup

Put the gin, lemon juice and simple syrup in a shaker with lots of ice. Shake until it's thoroughly chilled and pour into a flute, top with sparkling wine. Garnish with a lemon twist if you're feeling particularly fancy.

Happy New Year!

Well hello...

Click here to check it out

In September my brothers and I met in Denver to celebrate our mother's birthday. One of the nicest parts of this weekend was going through a big box she shipped to Denver that contained all the ephemera she had collected for each of us as we were growing up. I don't think any of us realized she had been documenting our lives like that.

It was what you might expect – report cards, childish drawings, programs, clippings, etc. Some of it was pretty amusing.

And in my case, letters. She handed over a bunch of letters I had written, starting about 40 years ago. I didn’t know she had saved them, so it was a big surprise. It brought back a flood of memories, things I had long forgotten.

And it was a little surreal, meeting my much younger self like this. Wow, was that ME? Some things change dramatically, other things don’t change at all, it was interesting.

And enlightening.

So when I was Christmas shopping this year and saw this kit of bound letters with writing prompts – LETTERS TO MY FUTURE SELF – I immediately recognized the potential for discovery and gave it to a young family member. He says he's going to use it. I hope so. Reflection is a good thing.

Merry Christmas

Credit goes to: http://xkcd.com/1620/

Shamu Shorts Out

It  might not be rational, but I've started to think of my stove (or as Hubbs calls it: the cooker) as a whale. A giant, suffering whale circling the drain in my kitchen and slowly dying while we watch and wring our hands and try to figure out how to get him jumping through hoops again. Formerly a star, he's now almost completely out of commission. Making pitiful little noises. Random little squeaky beeps. We hear him out there, beeping – in the middle of the night. It's distressing.

E15 he keeps flashing... E15, E15.
I've no idea what E15 means, but clearly it's serious.

It was the single biggest attraction in my kitchen when it was new. It had a space age induction cooktop. Not a dial anywhere... all touch pads. With lots of programmable features. It was like suddenly your iPad could cook things. Hubbs loved to demonstrate how it could boil water in less than 60 seconds. Then, for major effect, he would lift the pot and lay his palm flat on the burner area which stayed completely cool. People would gasp. He can't help it, he has salesman in his DNA.

But compared to my iPad, my whale was completely coddled. I never once dropped him. I never-ever plugged him into some foreign outlet, I never ran him until his power status said zero and he blacked out and required resuscitating. I never left him in a hot car. I never let a child push his buttons. He got nothing but the finest care and respect from me.

I wish Apple made induction cooktops.

However...

It took forever to figure my whale out and train him. But then, when we got to know each other and he started doing amazing culinary tricks, I grew to depend on him. I got very attached to my whale. I loved the fact that I could clean his sleek smooth surface with zero effort.

I loved it that he was so responsive... I could hit that Power Boost button and BAM! Instantly I had the highest invisible heat you can imagine.

We have no idea what to do about him. We're flummoxed. We're hoping he will somehow spontaneously recover and be ok again. Because there is no obvious solution. This thing is just too big, too exotic. We've gone online looking for answers and they're not good. Basically the electronics have stopped talking to each other and replacing them is useless. My whale will probably never entertain again.

I'm afraid he may have seen his last Thanksgiving.

Check it Out

I finally got around to updating my 2015 reading list. A clunker or two, but overall, some very good reading. 2015 was a pretty good year.

Click the MY READING LIST tab at the top of the page.