You Saw WHAT?

I never-ever thought I'd hear myself say these words, but I'm sort of worried about my spot in the food chain.

We've known there was a mountain lion in our 'hood for some time. We spotted one grooming himself down by the creek a couple years ago. And we've subsequently noticed our deer and turkey population dwindling.

He's getting bolder. Because really, if you're a mountain lion, what do you have to be scared of? I saw one up close once at the Arizona Sonora Desert Museum. Behind impenetrable glass. It is true I scare easy, but he was well and truly terrifying with creepy yellow eyes and paws the size of cereal bowls. Those of us with vivid imaginations don't do well with up-close reality. I felt a little faint looking at those claws. We both knew about the glass, but it didn't diminish his desire or my fear by much.

Late last night our niece and her friend who are staying with us heard some noise and looked out the window and saw him between our house and our neighbor's house. He was stalking something small. And he caught it. And he devoured it. And he growled. And he looked right at Shelly and Jennifer. And they're sure he has their scent now. And I'm a little freaked myself. And from now on we're all going to be sleeping with the windows closed and the AC on.

Those window screens? They're probably no more of an obstacle than soft butter.

I called animal control this morning. They dutifully "logged the sighting." Ok then.

"Thank you. Thank you so much – I am so happy to have your administrative assistance with a wild animal capable of eating me alive. Thank goodness we got him logged. I can rest easy now – he's logged. What a relief! Now, be a dear and transfer me to the man with the dart gun – I need to discuss a nice tidy little wildlife relocation package."