Get off the scale, stop berating yourself and prepare to get your detox on. Get your hand out of that box of chocolates right now.
Put the champagne cocktail ingredients away. Lock them up if you have to. Throw the cheese ball out – I'm serious, hiding it in the veggie drawer is fooling no one.
You've had your fun, harsh reality has returned. You knew this day was coming. The month of reckless holiday indulgence is now officially over.
Brace yourself.... it's January... time to drink green smoothies.
Click here for instructions: How to Make a Kale Smoothie That Doesn't Taste Like Dirt
Unlike fudge, kale is your friend – it's good for you and the author swears her recipe doesn't taste gross. She has cracked the code. Dear God, I hope that's true.
Although... if I may? Market to me woman! That is one butt ugly photo... it is not helping your cause. How about some subtle color correction? A little less swamp monster – a little more Kermit? Some cheerful props? Someone svelte in the background swigging one with obvious pleasure? I'm on your side and it triggered my gag reflex. You're scaring us with your authenticity. Please! A little fantasy to help get us going is in order here.
I'm whimpering aren't I?
You know how it is when you've completely gone off the rails...
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