Holding Hands in the Dark

Sadness is all around me right now. So many of the people I care about are struggling. Death, divorce, serious illness, prolonged unemployment. The things I dread the most have descended on the people I love.

My friend Alisa and I talked this weekend and we agreed; the scope of it is unprecedented. Is it our age? What's going on? When will it get better? Alisa's brother is fighting for his life right now. She told me that one night when she couldn't sleep she decided to make good use of that time by praying. She told me she said a prayer for every single person she knew. What a generous and noble spirit. I was so touched by that.

When I was a child Mrs. Swenson was one of our closest neighbors. She resembled an old Julia Child in appearance, but without any of the merriment. My brothers and I were actually a little scared of her. But behind her serious nature was one of the kindest people in the world. One day my mother seriously injured her hand, requiring stitches and involving a lot of pain and distress. Mrs. Swenson turned up immediately with an entire meal for our family. On her way out of the house she collected all the laundry for a family of 5. The next day she returned with everything clean, pressed and neatly folded. My mother still talks about it. Mrs. Swenson rescued our family in small ways many times over the years.

My friend Eileen is grieving for her mother. It's hard, there is no quick relief for this. But she comes over, we sit together, we eat together, we have a little wine and sometimes we cry together. I send her home with containers of soup, because I know she's not eating. I know she wouldn't agree, but these times together are beneficial to me. It's reassuring just to see her. I know my comfort is small, but I appreciate her accepting it.

My doctor told me once that joy shared is multiplied and sorrow shared is diminished.

Which brings me to my point... if you're suffering, let us help you. We want to, it makes us feel better. Please accept it. It's important, because at the end of the day, it's really all we have – our bonds with each other.