Insomnia

I struggle to sleep. Big time. Counting sheep doesn't help. But what does help is immersing myself in enjoyable, pleasant thoughts and luckily for me I have a rich and deep fantasy life. Spinning an elaborate fantasy often helps me to drift off. My favorite fantasy is this: 

For whatever reason, I have an unlimited supply of money. I will never run out of it and I don't have to spend a single second managing it or worrying about it. What this unlimited supply of money gives me is complete freedom to create fantastic experiences. Here's what I would do.

#1 - Move Over Anousheh Ansari

This is the very first thing I would do - I would hop a flight on the next available space shuttle. I can't imagine anything more exciting than looking at the earth from outer space. And zero gravity! Boy oh boy! And since this is my fantasy, everyone else on the shuttle is absolutely thrilled to see me and the entire flight goes extremely well and I have the snapshots to prove it.

#2 - Patricia Wells Cooking School

I love to cook and France has the absolute best groceries bar none. What could possibly be more enjoyable than a hands-on culinary tour in France? One in Provence and one in Paris. The markets! The tastings! The wine pairings! Finally the mysteries of duck breasts revealed! Ah oui! Where do I sign? 

$5,000 each. 

Oh.

I see. 

Let me get back to you. 

However, in the wee small hours, in my fantasy - not a problem. I hand over a bag of euros and the experience is mine. And it's a very good one. I sign up my friend too and we cook our little hearts out in culinary heaven, slinging hash like nobody's business.

#3 - The Charter Cruise

I think Oprah already did this (so you KNOW it's a good idea), but if I had an unlimited supply of dinero, I would charter an entire cruise ship and invite everyone I know (and like) to be my guest. It's my fantasy, so we have the entire ship and everyone has a lovely suite. The staff loves us and lives to make us happy (it's a FANTASY people!) One of the charms of taking a cruise is that everyone is in such a good mood. And those are the people that paid for their tickets. Imagine how happy a free ticket on a luxury cruise would make you - even the Manson family would be good company.

#4 - Fireworks

Nothing beats the enjoyment of a lavish fireworks display. I LOVE fireworks. I would arrange a massive fireworks display on a regular basis. Not on regular schedule mind you, but whenever things started getting a little too quiet, I would make a call and we'd have impromptu fireworks that night. Gracious and good looking young men would move through the crowd with trays of G&Ts. With lemon slices, not lime, I prefer lemon.

#5 - The Boat

This is not my fantasy - it's my husband's. But in my fantasy it's fun to indulge his fantasy. We have a lovely spacious 1-story home in the Caribbean, right on the water. Everything is white or ivory with lots of sheer billowing curtains. With beautiful clean sand, turquoise water and our own dock ... with a sailboat. Not just any sailboat, a big beautiful catamaran, built for going fast. And it's not the least bit labor intensive, everything on it is controlled with the push of a button.

#6 - Coffee

I'd install a rope pull over my side of the bed. It summons my own professional coffee person and they arrive within minutes with a perfect latte. Exactly how I like it - size, strength, flavor. The coffee person disappears without a word, because they know how I feel about talking in the morning and I only hire people without needy personalities. Everything about this experience is completely and soothingly predictable. However, to mix it up a bit, I would like them to surprise me and serve it in a different cup each day. Something whimsical. My coffee person is a professional, this is not hard for them.

#7 - A Farm

Oprah did this too, darn her, she's grabbed some of the best stuff already. 

Oh well. 

I would buy a farm, out in the middle of no where. My only non-negotiable requirement – it has to have fireflies. After that, it's all gravy. It has big mature leafy trees and a lush green lawn. It's quiet, it's peaceful, you can hear crickets and birds. When things start getting hectic I can retire to my sedate farm in the middle of no where and sit on my front porch in the evenings in my comfy soft cushioned furniture ... it's so relaxing I often fall asleep right there...

...and dream.